Like a Flood

Flood?  Hmmm!  What does that word mean?  A great flow of water; abundant supply or outpouring of anything; inundate–to fill with an overflowing abundance.

The School of Hard Knocks.  I’m sure that many people can say they have and are still going through the School of Hard Knocks!  As I reflect on my life that is true for me.  The worst decision, and they were few, was my decision to tell God what I was going to do…I remember the day back in 1972.  I was sooo bored!!!  With everything!  Being the good little girl just wasn’t for me anymore, so I told God I was going to go out and find out what life was all about.  That was not so good a decision!  But it was my way or the Highway…

From those words came my journey on a downward spiral into a pit that took years to climb out of.  All the things I said I would never do, I began to do.  Drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, running with a married man, cussing, hanging with the wrong group of people, doing all sorts of things I shouldn’t do.

Did I feel convicted?  Yes and no.  But I just kept ignoring it to the point where I buried it deep down inside.  I would pray for forgiveness and do it over and over again until it became a way of life.  I became blind to it all.  It got to the point where I found myself deep down in the pit of hell.

As I began my new journey in 1984 to climb out of that pit, it was a struggle and a fight that was unbelieveable.  I would climb up and slide back down.  Climb up and slide back down.  Searching for something–anything to get out.  A word, a phrase to hold onto.

It was like a flood and I kept getting caught up in it.  Flowing downstream searching for something to hold on to.  As I searched God’s Word; little phrases or a words from him would catch my eye and I’d grab it and hold on to it.  Fear not– what can man do to you; Be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath; for wrath does not produce the righteousness of God were 2 of the very first phrases I grabbed ahold of.  Footprints in the Sand too–My Precious Precious Child at those times when you see only one set of Footprints–It was then that I carried you.

All of a sudden, out of the blue, while sitting in Church during testimonies something stirred inside of me to stand and speak.  What I had to speak, I had no clue.  I began trembling and shaking wrestling within myself to contain it.  All of a sudden a force lifted me up and I began to speak.  Trembling and shaking I got through it and quickly sat down when I was done.  PHEW!!!  That was over with!  I had no idea what was said!  No idea what had happened!  That began to happen every Sunday.  I felt sooo embarrassed as I stood there trembling.

It began to become normal to me.  Like an abundant supply or outpouring of faith–today I take the action needed to show myself that nothing is impossible with GOD, and I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.  To learn that he gives me the strength to take each and every step I take.

I Praise God and Thank Him sooo very much for sending Jesus to us to seek and save the lost.  I have been one of tem who was lost, but Jesus brings me up and out of that pit…That’s why I take a STAND FOR JESUS.

Where are the Shephards?

Where are the Shephards?  I asked the Lord.  I searched and searched as I slid further down.  Where are you, Lord is there noone to help?  I tried to stop sinning but that didn’t work.  The more I tried the more I got worse.  I tried and tried and kept slipping down.  O Lord I keep going straight down to the ground.  Is there no shephard around?  As I sat on the ground with mud all around and couldn’t get up on my own.  The greatest shephard picked me up.  He showed me I wasn’t alone.  I didn’t see it for quite a long time.  It came very slowly as I ran for my life.  Running and running I got tired of it all.  My shephard who is Jesus kept saying to me, “My precious child I am carrying you now.  I’ve been doing it for you for quite a long while.  So lay back and rest on this Christmas Eve as you listen to see me knocking at your heart O please let me in.”  I listened to the preacher, he was speaking to me.  I tried to jump up to see if we were safe.  My very young child and I.  But I was reassured I would come out on the other side alive.  I repeated the prayer the preacher said, and let my dear savior come in.  Then all of a sudden the terror I felt went running away, and the strength of Jesus came in to stay.  The year that my savior saved me was 1984.  That’s the night He came knocking at the door.  It’s been 28 yrs. now, it’s been a long time.  I’m still being cleansed by my Savior devine.

So when Jesus comes knocking at your door–listen and let Him come in.  It’s all worth it in the end.  So I ask that you listen, He loves you so much.  He will lead you and guide you in His way which in time you will not want to stray.  Try it and see.  Our Savior does love us–He hung on a cross, His blood He did shed.  He shows us the way which is right.  Believe me I  pray.  In His arms we will stay as He carries us each and every day.  So now I pray you help me be ready to be a shephard for you.  For as you say in Isaiah6 vs.8–Whom shall I send, and who will go for us–I can raise up my hand and say–send me.

Natural Disasters

Hurricanes, forest fires, floods, wars.  What else?  Bad things happening everywhere.  When will it all end?  Does anyone know?

I know of only [1] who knows.  That [1] I know is Our Father in Heaven.  Think about it: Hurricanes–They just seem to get worse with each one that comes.  All things keep getting worse.  Is there a message here that we all need to hear, to listen to, and to do something about?  Does anyone think or care about how God feels about all this?  Well, if noone else cares – I do.  Who will listen? and hear? and do?

God’s message to me a few days ago came from Ezekial 22-24 and it hit my mind, my heart, and my spirit in a tremendous way.  Let me share some of it with you.  I hope it will help you to stop and think.

These were some things that God spoke to Ezekial:  “those near and those far from you will mock you as infamous and full of tumult.”  “In you they have made light of father and mother; in your midst they have oppressed the stranger; in you they have mistreated the fatherless and the widow.  You have despised my Holy Things and profaned my Sabboths.  In you are men who slander to cause bloodshed, in you are those who eat on the mountains; in your midst they commit lewdness.  In you men uncover their father’s nakedness; in you they violate women who are set apart during their impurity.  One commits abomination with his neighbors wife, another lewdly defiles his daughter in law; and another in you violates his sister, his father’s daughter.  In you they take bribes to shed blood; you take usury and increase, you have made profit from your neighbors by extortion, and have forgotton me,” says the Lord God.

“Behold, therefore, I beat my fists at the dishonest profit which you have made, and at the bloodshed which has been in your midst.  Can your heart endure, or can your hands remain strong, in the days when I shall deal with you?  I, the Lord, have spoken, and will do it.

“The people of the land have used oppressions, committed robbery, and mistreated the poor and needy; and they  wrongfully oppress the stranger.”

Does this sound familiar to anyone?  What is really happening?  Have we gone too far?  I don’t know about anyone else, but for me, I have to say — Lord Jesus Christ – Son of the Living God – have mercy on me – a sinner.  I ask that you forgive me.  I give my heart and my life to you to do as you will.  Thank you for saving me.  May others who have read this see, hear, listen and understand what YOU have to say.  AMEN

A New Beginning

Hello!  I made it back!  For a while there were no words that would come to me.  No matter how hard I tried.  It seemed that writing just wasn’t for me; but I had a title for a book and that’s all I had.

Alot of time has gone by and God has inspired me again.  And it is “A new beginning.”

God has been inspiring me with messages.  Then on Sunday when I went to church the Pastor was also inspired by messages from God.  It was awesome to hear him mention about messages from God too.  There are times that I receive a message and wonder if God would give it to someone else in church too and he did.

The next day we went on a Prayer Walk around the neighborhood.  That morning when I awoke, I prayed and God gave me His first message which I shared with the Pastor.

It is inspiring and also a calling on all of us.  May this message give others who read it inspiration to follow His calling in their life too.

For God’s Glory — John 11:4

When Jesus heard that, He said, “This sickness is not unto death, but for the Glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it.

Be on Guard — Matt. 10:16

“Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves.  Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.

An unclean Spirit — Luke 11: 24-26

When an unclean spirit goes out of a man, he goes through dry places seeking rest, and finding none, he says, “I will return to my house from which I came.  And when he comes, he finds it swept and put in order.  Then he goes and takes with him (7) other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter and dwell there and the last state of the man is worse than the 1st.

Trust God — Matt 10:19

But when they deliver you up, do not worry about what you should speak.  For it will be given to you in that hour what you should speak, for it is not you who speaks, but the Spirit of your Father who speaks in you.

Call to Freedom — Gal. 5:13; 6:9

For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.  And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap; if we do not lose heart.

Do the uncommon

Be prepared to do the uncommon when God calls you.  Is call from God clear?  Carry out God’s task.  Holy Communion is of–New Life and Forgiveness.

Believing — Mark 16:14-18          The Great Commission

After He appeared to the eleven as they sat at the table; and He rebuked their unbelief and hardness of heart, because they did not believe those who had seen him after He had risen.  And He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the Gospel to every creature.  He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned.  And these signs will follow those who believe; In my name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; they willtake up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly; it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick and they will recover.

The Heart of People — Acts 28:25-27

So when they did not agree among themselves they departed after Paul had said (1) word;  “The Holy Spirit spoke rightly through Isaiah the Prophet to our Fathers, saying, ‘Go to this people and say: “Hearing you shall hear, but shall not understand; and seeing you shall see, and not perceive; for the Heart of this people has grown dull. Their ears hard of hearing and their eyes they have closed.  Lest they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears, lest they should understand with their Heart and turn, so that I should heal them.”

This all is the 1st message that I have from Jesus.  As I shared with the Pastor; he understood and pointed out in a few words what we needed to see and hear and understand.

It is so awesome.  Thank you God, Father, Jesus.  May your words be confirmed through these messages that You want to share through Your servants.  This we pray in Jesus’ Holy Name.  Sincerely Yours, AMEN.

Practice, Practice, Practice

Sometimes those words ring in my ears.  I remember so well from years ago.  I thought I would be able to remember things, but that thought was lost as well as what I tried to remember.  Being deep down in that horrible pit, I was lucky to remember my name…

Back in a day the opportunity to attend school came along.  I went to school for 6 months to learn to be a stenographer/receptionist.  The only way I was able to remember or comprehend anything was to smoke some pot.  That was the key–so I thought!  I was able to get straight A’s, on the Dean’s list,  and student of the month.  It was all so great!!!  In the mean time I needed help with just surviving.

Pot and my Bible went together fairly well.  I could remember a few words or phrases when I was desperate.  Fear not–what can man do to you, and Be quick to hear, slow to wrath, and slow to speak.  Those were just a few words and phrases I had to practice over and over again.

As time went on there was another opportunity to attend school.  Pot and studying went hand in hand then too except for writing.  It took me the whole semester to finally get an “A”.  Of course, I forgot it all.

I tried to continue on this road, but my addiction caught up with me and I was back on that road of forgetting what I learned.  My alcoholism came back taking me further and further down.  I forgot to practice what I had learned.  There were intervals of not using, but it didn’t last.  My study guides were marked and dated over and over again.

Today I have found that as I stay clean and sober comprehending things has become easier…It begins in my heart where Jesus resides.  He helps me to practice so that I may learn to change and grow.  It has been an exciting journey of practicing what I learn so that I don’t have to tumble down that dark road into darkness again.

Where O Where?

Reblogged from mypreciouschild2:

Where O Where do I belong?  Where O Where do YOU belong?  I don't know about anyone else, but I belong in the Kingdom of God.  I have been around the block more than once.  There are things I haven't done--YET.  Very important word to me--YET.  As I have learned through experience--I do have a choice today.  I can go down that road that leads to life where I can experience joy, peace, serenity, unconditional love, and many other things of God to their fullest; or I can go further down the road to destruction, misunderstanding, depression, mental illness, alcoholism, drug addiction, death; the list goes on--YET.

Read more… 247 more words

Where O Where?

Where O Where do I belong?  Where O Where do YOU belong?  I don’t know about anyone else, but I belong in the Kingdom of God.  I have been around the block more than once.  There are things I haven’t done–YET.  Very important word to me–YET.  As I have learned through experience–I do have a choice today.  I can go down that road that leads to life where I can experience joy, peace, serenity, unconditional love, and many other things of God to their fullest; or I can go further down the road to destruction, misunderstanding, depression, mental illness, alcoholism, drug addiction, death; the list goes on–YET.

Which way will I go?  I would hope that my choice for just this moment–that turns into just this day–that is what I have.  Sufficient for the day is its own troubles.  Just for today–Living in the Moment.

I have been in many churches, 12 step programs, rehabs, mental health facilities, jail, counseling and various other places to receive help.  Each place has been a stepping stone to find my way.  Today I can see these places as stepping stones or complain about all their faults and shortcomings.

Today I choose to see ALL places beneficial and necessary for my development to God’s calling for my life.  Each church has been for a season to learn what was needed for my growth at that time.

Being in {1} place in {1} accord for me today is taking a STAND FOR JESUS in {1} place–wherever that place may be–putting away our differences and being able to say I agree to disagree; so that we may ALL STAND in our {1} place in {1} accord and allow Jesus to work through us–because the time is short.  Jesus IS coming back soon.

I say–We ALL need to STAND together against the enemy.  He wants to devour us.

Let us ALL STAND as the ARMY of GOD.  Jesus has already won the victory.  Let us ALL STAND in {1} place–wherever that place may be–in {1} accord to FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT OF FAITH.

In the Circle

My!My!My!  How do I put all this together?  “In the Circle” or another way to put it “in the clique” came to my mind while talking to the Pastor.  It gave me something to think about.

I really never did fit into the circle.  No matter where I went or what I did throughout these years of living.  It seemed I was always the outsider looking in.  Life has always been a struggle.  It’s not easy being the outsider.  It took alot to fit myself in with people.  It just wouldn’t work.  I was crazy, odd, blunt, and when I got to the end of my rope–no one knew what I was going to say or do.  I just couldn’t do it!

I was always the outsider in search for something, but what?

It’s hard to get anyone to reach out and help with anything!  It became nearly impossible to even reach out myself and ask for help from any one.  Can you relate?  I am sure there are many out there somewhere who can relate.

I don’t know about all of you, but I got sick and tired of reaching out to ask anyone to do anything for me.

As I sit today isolated from the outside world “again”!  I have gotten to the point of not reaching out “again”.

The one thing that “really” cracks me up as I sit here in a wheel chair not able to go anywhere is; people ask, “Is there anything I can do for you?  Oh I’m so busy.”  I’ve learned to say, “that’s ok.”  I cry and weep for those others who have suffered in this way.

This comes down to my point.  We who are in this category do have hope!!!  My experience has taught me that I don’t need to be in any circle!  Why, you ask?  One word–JESUS–

He loves us unconditionally.  No matter what we have done or are doing at this time in our lives; he is always with us.  He reaches out to us.  He came to seek and to save the lost.  HE will send people to help if we ask him.  Sometimes there is no one to help but him.  The Harvest is ripe, but the workers are few.

The lesson I learn from those times is–I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  That is the best circle I could ever be in…He accepts me there…He will accept you too.

Where are You, God?

Where are You, God?.

Where are You, God?

So many times my cry has been “Where are You, God?”  Please send someone to help me!  I’ve written a letter and sent it to the newspaper, gone out walking the streets in search of God in someone.  Occasionally He has been able t0 place someone in my path for a season to give me what I need.  Sometimes His response is”The harvest is ripe but the workers are few, or There is no one to help.”

The harvest is ripe, but the workers and there is no one to help are so hertbreaking.  My cry to God when He says,  “Whom shall I send and who will go for me?” is “Here am I Lord, send me.  I will go into the uttermost parts of the world for you.”

It goes on and on.

As I sit here writing this and allowing God’s inspiration to flow through me, His fire is coming through.  The very very last person has gotten on my very very last nerve…

This is it!!!

WAKE UP PEOPLE!  If you don”t like your job–GIVE IT UP!  There are too many people who need a job and who are ready and willing to do their job as a kind and loving person.

WAKE UP!  Those who use the system!  There are people who really do need the help.

Be of good cheer–thoae out there in the harvest–for help is on the way.  For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.  And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap IF we do not lose heart.

Put on The Whole Armor of God and humble yourself in the sight of the Lord and He will lift you u.

I am a sinner saved by Grace.  But for the Grace of God there go I.  He saved me and he will save you too.  PRAISE GOD