Sometimes those words ring in my ears. I remember so well from years ago. I thought I would be able to remember things, but that thought was lost as well as what I tried to remember. Being deep down in that horrible pit, I was lucky to remember my name…
Back in a day the opportunity to attend school came along. I went to school for 6 months to learn to be a stenographer/receptionist. The only way I was able to remember or comprehend anything was to smoke some pot. That was the key–so I thought! I was able to get straight A’s, on the Dean’s list, and student of the month. It was all so great!!! In the mean time I needed help with just surviving.
Pot and my Bible went together fairly well. I could remember a few words or phrases when I was desperate. Fear not–what can man do to you, and Be quick to hear, slow to wrath, and slow to speak. Those were just a few words and phrases I had to practice over and over again.
As time went on there was another opportunity to attend school. Pot and studying went hand in hand then too except for writing. It took me the whole semester to finally get an “A”. Of course, I forgot it all.
I tried to continue on this road, but my addiction caught up with me and I was back on that road of forgetting what I learned. My alcoholism came back taking me further and further down. I forgot to practice what I had learned. There were intervals of not using, but it didn’t last. My study guides were marked and dated over and over again.
Today I have found that as I stay clean and sober comprehending things has become easier…It begins in my heart where Jesus resides. He helps me to practice so that I may learn to change and grow. It has been an exciting journey of practicing what I learn so that I don’t have to tumble down that dark road into darkness again.